Can Faint With Eyes Open

"What does not fit is made to fit"

Thursday, 23/12/2010

In recent weeks I have been once again a clear demonstration of how different I am. Otherwise in a morbid sense (although that certainly does not contribute to irrelevant), but just different than others. So different, as everyone feels at ease when he meets someone who is different than oneself
I had actually forgotten to some extent as it is, if there are different needs and views come together and we find no agreement. Particularly in terms of closeness and distance.
I am at this point really own that I am aware of and can and will make it no secret. This is the near-distance behavior in elementary social interaction, whether friendly or intimate nature.
I think pressure is not. If anyone expected of me that I am every day (or every second) report, I feel in me a lock that is like a heavy load on my shoulders. Then I fear the loss of my freedom, have fear, not enough to have time for myself to sort me. I need it to be for myself, rumzutüddeln in my own world. Without the availability of time for that, I would be crazy.
In my circle of friends that was never a problem. If I had not reported me for three days: okay. If I had not reported three weeks: just okay. No one has given me or blame me feel so not to get along. And so I eventually 'forget' that it is not normal to have to deal so to be consistent and not compromise.
But is it so that I have learned to know someone. And suddenly I again realized how hard it occurs to me, real close permit. This one is so different from my friends. This one has expectations of me and is unhappy that I did not have more time for him had left. And I'm already a huge step toward him, meet him more often than my best friend, even in the same house as I live, and yet it is not enough to him.
The barrel was about when I wrote to him that I do not feel well and I just could stand for any contacts, but would report me. Three days later I received a text message from him. He was worried because I have not been reported for so long already. I stared in bewilderment at my phone and was even somewhat angry. Three days is nothing! Seriously. Especially not if I feel bad. For him it is already too long. He wants us to spend every free minute together. I already give him any of my 'free' minutes, he did not understand. I felt so much at this moment that we can find no basis. At the same time I was so relieved and happy that I have such wonderful friends. have people around me, because similar needs as I find it easy to fit, without having to fiddle around great need to turn. Not without reason, we have been friends with each other, which I was suddenly clear.
In many areas of life can be found Komprimisse. It is always possible steps to reach out to others. But if there is such an important, fundamental area to different needs and expectations, it is not pleasant for both sides, but a burden. "What does not fit make it fit" should not apply to the ground.